Day: August 29, 2025

• My oldest of five kids is going into 5th grade, and back to school is expensive for my family.
• I don’t feel like kids need all new things in August.
• I stick to the must-haves on the school list and secondhand clothing.

“Mom, when are we going back to school shopping — like for clothes and shoes and stuff?” This question caught me off guard this year, as my oldest of five kids headed into 5th grade, and had seen one too many commercials for back-to-school sneaker sales.

Coming off a summer of trying to make magical memories on vacation, at pools, and at amusement parks, it also had me thinking about money and what my kids really needed to have a great start to the school year.

The back-to-school financial challenge is far from a personal problem. According to the National Retail Federation, per-person spending on back-to-school for years K through 12 has gone up from $563.49 in 2007 to $858.07 in 2025.

For some households, including mine (multiply everything by five kids), this is not only unreasonable but an uncomfortable budget stretch at an inopportune time. We limp into August financially like we limp into January after the holidays — maxed out, and fulfilled that we had a lot of fun at summer camp and the beach, but ready to pull back on spending a bit.

Of course, it’s always nice to have something new to start the school year with. But does it have to be all the new things at once? And doesn’t a kid still love new shoes if we get them in, say, October, to space it out a bit? Yes.

I’ve decided there are a few ways I’ll avoid the Instagram-mom pressure and back-to-school commercials that will swirl around in August. Here’s how our family does it.

Some new things, not all the new things

The one item my kids have decided is their must-have new purchase each year is a backpack. I’m on board with this because their backpacks are usually quite worn out by the end of each school year, with unknown sticky substances in the pockets, scuffs or holes on the bottom, and often characters, brands, or designs on the front that no longer reflect who they are (how can SpongeBob become uncool in one year though?). So, I bought them new backpacks.

New-to-us outfits

I see nothing wrong with secondhand shopping. It’s more sustainable and economical, and honestly, there are more choices.

My kids still love a good thrift store back-to-school trip, where they can get three new shirts for under $30, instead of one new shirt for $50. I grew up with my single mom taking me to garage sales, and my own kids have inherited the thrifting gene. That said, I help them find clothes that look new, and even though they are at a secondhand store, sometimes they still have tags on them.

We stick to the supply list

Our school district has things on the must-buy list, such as Ziplock bags, headphones, and sanitizer.

Gone are the days of needing elaborate pencil bags of markers, scissors, glue, pencils, and other items. While it varies district to district, I’m realizing that keeping the school supplies simple means they don’t get lost, especially when the school usually puts out group supplies if there’s an artsy project happening.

Back-to-school haircut

My kids get a haircut every few months. They don’t need an additional haircut because school is starting. This is just extra and unnecessary pressure and money.

Little extras

Keychains and necklaces and bracelets and backpack stickers, all these things can quickly add up. While one of these is fun occasionally, and I’m not above letting a kid grab a random keychain with a favorite character at a little toy machine next to the grocery gumball machine, it’s not something we seek out or that I encourage my kids to buy.

Elaborate back-to-school signs for pictures

The viral chalkboards can cost $100 or an afternoon with elaborate Cricut skills. The ones that say every detail, such as your kids’ top five favorite foods, an elaborate summer memory, and what grade they are going into. I’m all for keeping these memories and cute signs, but we do not need a big fancy board.

This year, my kids filled in a piece of dry-erase paper with some details. One did gripe about it after having seen another kid’s fancy board, but there are some battles I’m willing to pick as a parent with a budget.

A new lunchbox

Unless it has “Paw Patrol” on it and my kid has grown out of it, we aren’t replacing the lunch box. It still holds food, and brown bags work just as well, too. I’d rather spend money on water bottles that don’t leak (I love the Owala right now).

Undoubtedly, some parents like to prioritize all new things at back-to-school shopping, and that is OK. But my family can’t afford that, and that’s OK too. We all know it’s the little notes in the lunchbox and the bus stop hugs that matter more than all the new things anyway.

• I met a man in Zurich and instantly knew I was going to marry him.
• However, I didn’t expect we’d tie the knot just six months after knowing one another.
• We lived in Minneapolis together and were married for three years, then we got divorced.

I was 30, a British-South African expat living her best life in Zurich, when I was unexpectedly and entirely swept off my feet by a Swedish knight in shining armour.

The day we met, I knew deep in my bones that my life was about to change forever. We spent an hourslong brunch together, followed by strolling the city with mutual friends he was visiting for the weekend from London.

“I’m going to marry that guy,” I said calmly to myself, back in my apartment at the end of the day. I was right. I just had no idea that the US Homeland Security was going to help make it happen.

Our long-distance love story

What followed were weeks of flirty messages followed by several months of flights back and forth — first between Zurich and London and eventually Minneapolis, where he moved for work. He met my parents in Cape Town, and I met his in Stockholm.

While our global rendezvous were ridiculously romantic, we wanted a normal life together.

So, about five months into our long-distance love story, I decided to quit my job (I’d been wanting to move on for a while) and take a few months out in Minneapolis to see if we were still loved up after spending more than a couple of weeks in the same space.

I said my temporary goodbyes in Zurich, locked up my apartment, and the knight and I jumped on a plane together, bound for Minneapolis.

The event that changed my life

We were giddy with excitement in the immigration line at the airport, where I’d been many times before. However, this time, when I handed over my passport and enthusiastically told the immigration officer I was here to stay with my boyfriend for a while, things took a turn.

I was quickly shuffled into a secondary area for further questioning. At this point, I wasn’t panicking. I’d done nothing wrong. I had a return flight within the 90-day limit, and didn’t need a visitor visa as a British citizen. I had a sister in Florida, and had visited her countless times for long periods. I’d never had any issues.

This time, though, US Homeland Security wasn’t so sure. When my luggage and laptop were taken from me to be searched — that’s when I started to panic.

Two hours and some serious interrogation later, the immigration officer (let’s call her Cindy) who was interrogating me told me she would not be allowing me into the US that day. I didn’t get a specific reason. Perhaps it was because I no longer had a job back in Zurich, or was entering via a different city this time. I’ll never know.

I was fingerprinted, gave a statement, had a couple of minutes to say a shaky goodbye to the knight, and was promptly marched back onto the plane I arrived on, headed back to Zurich.

I was shocked, angry, and exhausted. A couple of hours into the flight, the chief purser handed me back my passport, which had been kept from me until we cleared US airspace. He said I shouldn’t feel too bad since people are denied US entry “more often than you think.” I finally burst into tears.

Starbucks lovers

A week later, the knight was back in Zurich with me. His boss, who knew about what happened, had allowed him to work from Zurich for as long as needed and even gave us access to top immigration lawyers. Their advice? Get married. It would be our best shot at resolving this.

So, over coffee on a Sunday morning in Starbucks, we decided to do just that. It wasn’t the stuff of fairytale proposals, but we chose to see the whole drama as divine intervention. The Universe did not want us to wait to be together forever. I couldn’t help think, “Thank you, Cindy!”

We got married within weeks, with two city hall employees we’d never met as witnesses. Shortly thereafter, immigration lawyers helped me obtain a spousal visa, and my new husband and I planned our trip back to the US.

Life in the US

Arriving in the US with my shiny new visa and husband, I was warmly welcomed compared to the last time.

It took me a while to settle into Minneapolis, but after a few months, I started to find my groove.

I met some nice people and bought the most hardcore winter gear I’d ever owned (and I’ve lived in Alp land). I took long walks around beautiful lakes (and across frozen ones in winter, which blew my mind) and found the best cinnamon buns I’d ever tasted. I joined the American Swedish Institute, learned to like ice hockey, discovered the surprising delight of summer in Minneapolis, and had my first real Fourth of July experience on a boat on Lake Minnetonka.

It wasn’t New York, Los Angeles, or some of the more glamorous US destinations, but Minneapolis felt real, and I liked it.

Trouble in paradise

The knight and I had a great life, for a while.

However, as the high of our whirlwind romance and the novelty of being together in a new place began to wear off, real life set in. It turned out that we were more into the fairytale versions of one another and marriage than reality.

It’s no surprise that giving up your happy life for someone (no matter how smitten you both are) puts a ton of pressure on a relationship. Immigration drama, getting married, moving overseas — all within six months of meeting — is a lot.

Almost three years to the day after we got married, we got divorced. It was amicable, but still sad. Would things have been different if we hadn’t gotten married so quickly? If we’d stayed in Europe? Or if we’d met later in life? I’ve mostly made peace with not knowing those answers.

I have a great dinner-party story now

Many years later, I can look back and laugh about my experience. It’s certainly an entertaining story. However, it’s not an exaggeration to say that the experience changed my life forever.

It led to my marriage and divorce — two pretty big life events that will always be part of my story and that I’d never want to erase.

Sadly, losing my marriage also meant losing my spousal visa and ability to live in the US. And since I’ve been denied entry into the US, I can no longer use the Visa Waiver Program, as I’d always done to visit my family.

It’s been 16 years since I visited my sister, nieces, and nephew in the US, and 17 years since Cindy unknowingly changed my life forever. I tried once to get a visitor visa two years after my divorce, and it was denied. Perhaps it’s time to try again.

Google Phone App Introduces Call Screen Customization Feature

Google’s Phone app is launching a significant update that allows users to customize contact call screens, enhancing the user experience for incoming calls, reports 24brussels.

The new “Calling Cards” feature enables Android users to personalize their contact screens by changing images, colors, and text for incoming calls. This update parallels the Contact Poster feature available on iPhones since 2023, allowing Google Phone app users to replace standard contact photos with full-screen images and stylized names.

This customization is part of the broader overhaul of Android’s Material 3 Expressive design language. The feature began appearing in beta versions earlier this month and is now being rolled out publicly in version v188 of the Phone app. Google has stated that Calling Cards will be available globally but will be implemented in phases, potentially delaying availability for some users.

Upon activation, users will see a notification on the Home tab prompting them to customize how contacts appear when they call. The feature can also be accessed within the Contacts app. Users can create individual Calling Cards by selecting images from their device’s camera, gallery, or Google Photos and choosing a preferred font and color for the contact’s name.

In contrast to iOS’s Contact Posters, Google’s Calling Cards are specifically for individual devices; users cannot design a Calling Card that will be visible to other contacts when they call. As a result, each contact must be customized separately, although users have the freedom to personalize how these cards are displayed on their devices.

Additionally, the rollout includes a new “Take a message” feature, which transcribes voicemails when calls are missed. Users can record a custom greeting or select from preset options for callers leaving messages. Transcripts and voicemail audio can be accessed in the Phone app’s Recents tab, with assurance from Google that all messages are stored privately on the device. This feature is compatible with Pixel 4 smartphones and newer models, including Pixel Watch 2 when paired with recent Google phones.